i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
