yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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