Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
