I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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