It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize