This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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