I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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