We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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