i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This house was built for laser tag.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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