Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
