everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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