guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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