I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
