Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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