Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
