Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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