Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
