I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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