i jhust puked up my retainher.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up under a house in Key West
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