Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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