LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
