I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize