This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
