Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Im part way to drunk.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
