got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
