My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
