We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
