So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Found your dick twin last night
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
