Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The best revenge is premature balding
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
