He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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