so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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