I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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