He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
