I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
