My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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