I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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