never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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