I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
