Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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