Me too!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i out mim tonsoeep
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