butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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