this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
