you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
