can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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