i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
