Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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