the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
