I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
