I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize