Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
