Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
