Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
