she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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