remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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