i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
