i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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