That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
