i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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